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Joke of the Day

"Asked an artist friend if he does nude portraits He charges by the pound"

"A joke walks into a bar... So the bartender says ""Can I help you?"" And the Joke says ""Nah I'm good I'm just waiting for a couple Jews"""

"A horse walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bank. A horse drives a car. Welcome to horse country. There's shit everywhere please help us."

"I think my cat might be a communist... Mao...Mao...Mao...Mao..."

"Society is so PC nowadays, you can't even say ""Ho ho ho"" You have to say ""Jessica, Patricia, and Michaela"""

"If there was a black character in the game of Clue... The game would be called ""Solved."""

"*writing classic song* Damn, I have the ""For he's a jolly good fellow"" part repeating three times but how am I gonna wrap this bad boy up?"

"What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts? She's a spitter, not a swallower."

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying. Retweaked joke: How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass? Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!"

"I'm going to get a dime-sized spider tattooed on my penis. It's the only way I can get women to shout ""Oh my God it's huge!"" when they see my dick."