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Joke of the Day

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred... The top answer was: ""How in the hell did you get in here?"""

"How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish? Mark Sanchez."

"It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light."

"[Mr. Robot] I may be late... ...and, for sure, Edward Alderson is late, but Christian's later"

"My transgender uncle is a superhero... We call him Aunt-Man."

"""there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars"" Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too."

"What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took? A No. 2 pencil."

"I really wanted my kid to be a kid so I gave birth directly into the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese's."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"Wife: ""Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?"" ! Husband: ""Because I don't want to wake you."""