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Joke of the Day

"How do you test a pirate for crabs? Swab the deck!"

"There are two major differences between beer and women. When you take the top off a beer, it can't change its' mind, and it can easily be bought and replaced."

"Just bought my gay son some Brunchables"

"Why did the young boat dock before it was ready? Pier Pressure"

"[interrogation] ""What do u do for a living?"" Jewel thief. ""Louder for the tape."" [leans in] Cool beef. I bring hot beef down in temperature."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"I can still remember my Grandpa's last words to me: ""Are you still holding the ladder?"""

"Q: Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? A: They were all tied up."

"I would tell you the chemical symbol for sodium... ...But Na.... *rimshot*"

"Where did the terrorist go after the explosion? Everywhere.."