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Joke of the Day

"What is all this #Brexit going around? When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?"

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic? When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger."

"The Brexit situation Britain: Down with the EU! *Next Day* Britain: I meant I'm down with the EU."

"I am suffering from Tinnitus Feminale... ... Everytime a women moves her lips, I hear a loud ringing."

"Did you hear about the three guys that walked into a bar? You'd think the third guy would've ducked."

"A cannibal and a vegetarian go to lunch. They both order a Danish."

"just putting the facts out there 2 educate. personally know a guy who tried pot one time and he was mauled to death by a bear years later"

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""Curiosity was here"""

"What did the kid who could see dead eskimos say? Icy dead people!"

"Forgot my phone and had to write my tweets on paper and pass 'em around at the meeting. nnDidn't get any stars. nGot RT'd to HR."