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Joke of the Day

"[rubs magic lamp] GENIE: You get 3 wishes ""Anything?"" GENIE: No wishin for more wishes ""I wish for more genies"" GENIE: I don't like you"

"What religious people say: ""I have you in my prayers."" What non-religious people hear: ""I'm trying to raise Aquaman on this cat radio."""

"Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population? Cause the condom they use is ""Made in china"""

"I'm allergic to alcohol... Every time I drink it, I break out in handcuffs..."

"If I can punch you without moving my feet, you're in my personal space."

"why did the plant cross the road? it can't, its a plant. DUH"

"16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again."

"How does a blonde turn a light on after sex? She opens the car door."

"I missed a question on my biology exam today. The question was ""what are commonly found in cells?"" I guess ""black people"" wasn't the right answer."

"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"