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Joke of the Day

"Me and my wife are getting a divorce so we are splitting the house ... She gets the inside. I get the outside."

"If da Vinci were alive today, the ""Mona Lisa"" would have been called ""IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"""

"why do i wish my lawn was an emo ? SO it would cut itself"

"Two gold fish are sitting in a tank... Two gold fish are sitting in a tank. One gold fish looks at the other and says: ""Hey man, how the hell do you drive this thing?"""

"Dicks are like bullets Small calibers don't penetrate shit, and the exploding ones really fuck you up."

"If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office."

"I don't think that we should let kids listen to symphonies. There's too much Sax and Violins nowadays."

"2 guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks"

"You can tune a piano But you can't piano a tuna."

"What did Elmo take before he left the tickle factory? Two test tickles"