32908

Joke of the Day

"Super excited about staying at my daughter's place so I can eat her cereal and leave the empty box in her cupboard."

"What do you call a snake that works in the government? A civil serpent"

"I Like my Woman How I Like my Coffee... Hot, in the kitchen, and ready for me when I wake up."

"If you want to feel the bern Have unprotected sex."

"I Hate Being this Sexy, But Somebody Has To Do it."

"Why is it... old people say ""there's no place like home"", yet when you put them in one..."

"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."

"Pity Poor Peter I feel sorry for my friend Peter. His hair's a mess. His family's nuts. His neighbor's an asshole. On bad days, his girlfriend's a c---. And his owner beats him. EDIT: Punctuation."

"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"

"Teen smoking is down 35 percent from when I was a kid. Unfortunately, so is teen ""coolness."""