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Joke of the Day

"I was 17 having dinner w new gf's parents. Pooped. 1st flush didn't take. I got nervous they'd hear a 2nd so I threw the turd out the window"

"Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Why is the fungus such a hypocrite? because it doesn't have mushroom to talk."

"Can clocks keep secrets? Time will tell."

"Why should I excuse your dear aunt Sally? Her operations were not unprecedented."

"a priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench... the priest sees some kids playing nearby. he leans over to the rabbi points and says ""how about we screw them"" the rabbi says ""out of what?"""

"What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !"

"""I've got cat-like T-Rexes"" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Tyrannosaurus pounces on you*"

"My dad hasn't uncrossed his arms since I was born."

"I was just told I'm someones BFF. Being the idiot I am, I had to google it. Backup-file Format is a euphemism for something hot right?"