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Joke of the Day

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten - one to hold the light bulb and nine to drink until the room spins! Happy St. Patrick's day!"

"What happens when batman takes viagra? The dark knight rises"

"2 Packets of Crisps were walking down the street. A man in a van pulls up beside them and go "" Would you guys like a lift?"" The Crisps replied "" No Thanks we're **walkers**"""

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Black, ground up and in the freezer."

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"How did the Pianist play without fingers? Not very well at all..."

"Two snares and a cymbal falls off a cliff BADUMTSSSS"

"Why don't renovators paint floors? It's beneath them."

"If you insist on telling me about your weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it's the only place I'll give a shit."

"I taught the kids to sign my name on report cards and detention slips because a good parent knows how to delegate responsibility."