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Joke of the Day

"[jail] INMATE: so what are ya in for? BIG BAD WOLF: well I huffed and I puffed and then I got nabbed for possession INMATE: goddam pigs"

"Why was the monster standing on his head? He was turning things over in his mind."

"Whenever it gets super cold outside, my penis exchanges its erection with my nipples."

"What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter? Cottontales"

"I refuse to see movies that critics deem ""fun for the whole family,"" because a lot of our grandparents are pretty racist."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Every time Mila Kunis comes on my TV I do too"

"Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb in a tree and act like a nut."

"What does a 80 yr old woman taste like? Depends."

"Kim and Kanye's baby will probably be delivered by C-Section to avoid getting Chlamydia on the way out..."