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Joke of the Day

"Cookies Two cookies are in an oven. The first cookie says ""is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The second cookie says ""holy shit! A talking cookie"""

"What did Liberace die from? Botulism. Bad meat in the can."

"Did you hear about the sexually promiscuous deaf person? Turns out he got hearing aids."

"Ugh this morning this cop was all ""what's with the fake mustache"" & ""you can't throw turtle shells out of your vehicle"" & ""who's Yoshi"""

"How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone? A Hans free device"

"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"

"I was going to tell a 9/11 joke today... ...but I was told that it would be insensitive and just plane wrong."

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""

"Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff. Bud dum tsss"