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Joke of the Day

"Next time a conspiracy theorist says, ""That's what they want you to think,"" say, ""No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."""

"I tried to make a tiny blueberry pie But it ended up being a little tart."

"How many Hipster's does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, just some number you've probably never heard of."

"Why did God create man first? So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it."

"Did you hear about the guy who had his whole left side cut off? He's all right now."

"Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay."

"The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password."

"Make a birthday wish for mutant lung power then blow away your cake, your party guests, your house, car, trees, etc."

"What if the first tire-swing was left there as a warning to other tires?"

"My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :("