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Joke of the Day

"Next time a conspiracy theorist says, ""That's what they want you to think,"" say, ""No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."""

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"So I posted an opposing view on r/The_Donald [removed]"
"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"
"What did one ape say to the the other ape? ""What did one ape say to the other ape. """
"What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!"
"If at first you don't succeed... ...then sky diving is not for you."
"I donate all our garbage to Goodwill because who knows what those bums might have use for."
"What do you call a Thu'um that makes a dragon orgasm? A Cu'um."
"A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery ""What poor people there are in America,"" a man tells his comrade, ""Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have buttons, and their wine is old!"""
"A mongoose is just a goose who listens to reggae"
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