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Joke of the Day

"I always sleep with a bed under my pillow, just in case"

"Q. What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist? A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you."

"Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won't remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me."

"Why do honeydew melons have to get married in a formal ceremony? Because they cantaloupe."

"Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?"

"""ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE LOL!"" -captain of the Titanic"

"Why should you never trust soap? It's an emulsive lyer."

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"I before E, except after C, or when sounding like A in words like neighbor and weigh. **Weird...**"

"What do you call a dog that is also a magician? A Labracadabrador."