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Joke of the Day

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin... It might taste the same but that shit just ain't right."

"What do you call someone who is obsessed with a constant breeze? a 'fan'atic."

"How does a restaurant make $1 million You start with $2 million!"

"What did the scientist say at the bar? I'd like some H20 please."

"What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas? NSFW Cancer"

"I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos."

"I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs."

"My computer is so slow . . . . . . I get a progress bar when I copy and paste . . . text."

"Why doesn't Oedipus swear? Because he kisses his mum with that mouth."

"So a guy walks into a bar with a gun. Angry he snarled, ""Aight, who the hell boned my wife and mom?"" The bartender shook his head and smiled, ""You don't have enough bullets bud."""