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Joke of the Day

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin... It might taste the same but that shit just ain't right."

"I used to be opposed to organ transplant... But after having one done myself; I guess I've had a change of heart."

"Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet? Life is bullshit."

"What do you call a geologist who can't hear? Stone deaf..."

"Me: ""Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."" Friends: ""No thanks."" Enemies: ""Also no thanks."""

"What do you call disabled people that follow politics? A special interest group."

"If you love something, set it free. (Does not apply to ferrets.)* *I am no longer allowed on the subway."

"Boy : I have a pen you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities. Girl : I have a sandal you have a face. Think of Casualties."

"Lock an astronomer in a basement... and they'll go star craving mad."

",,,,, chameleon Get it? Hooray!"