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Joke of the Day

"What does a suicide bomber say when he's teaching class? Pay attention! I'm only going to show this once."

"What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !"

"Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive."

"Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free."

"Why wasn't Jesus any good at math? Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition."

"Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce"

"Girlfriend The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile... But what does she know, she's only 7."

"How do you tell which potato on the street corner is the prostitute? It has a sticker on it that says ""Idaho."""

"I just watched a movie following a black man in a zombie apocalypse. It was the shortest movie I've ever watched."

"Why does the internet always mourn the death of politicians? Because they are always lion about everything."