31437

Joke of the Day

"A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it... He put his Monet where his mouth is."

"My girlfriend says penis size shouldn't matter in a healthy and loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one. &nbsp; EDIT: to draw attention to new Gender Studies section in comments."

"A man goes to the zoo The only animal at the zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu"

"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."

"[Gets shot by mugger] Girl walks by: omg are u ok? I'm dying [sees she isn't wearing a ring] I mean I'm fine but not as fine as you, sup?"

"My friend was quite a colorful character... His name was Hugh"

"If you wanna make hundreds of friends, you gotta wear a t-shirt with a joke on it. People will not stop laughing. ""This guy,"" they'll say."

"How can you tell if Trump is lying? His lips move. How can you tell if Clinton is lying? [deleted]"

"Yo mama is so stupid She thought the Hardy-Littlewood inequality was a theorem relating dick sizes."

"By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something"