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Joke of the Day

"The problem with traveling into the future is that it's hard to determine the date because newspapers no longer exist."

"My favorite tree died earlier. Now I have mourning wood."

"I used to wonder... ...why golf tournaments aren't called Stroke-Offs Then I turned 12."

"I just bought that new aftershave ""Stalker"".... It's slightly stronger than Obsession."

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath"

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The 'musical chairs' was a bit slow, but 'pass the parcel' was damn quick!"

"My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me."

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? The noise gave her a headache."

"Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work? His loving knife."