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Joke of the Day

"Yoda, are we on the right course? Off course, we are."

"I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last ten years."

"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."

"There were so many vampires at my Halloween party I lost Count. ]"

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

"Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day Wife says ""I guess I have to open my legs now"". Man says ""Why? Don't we have a vase""?"

"If an interviewer asks you: ""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" say ""I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"""

"I've spent all day trying to convince people on Reddit I'm French. I give up."

"If your name is Paul... (If you beat somebody in any way). Are you a flower? CAUSE YOU JUST GOT PAULINATED!"

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count."