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Joke of the Day

"I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands. I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two."

"Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary."

"The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini."

"What is the perfect name for an Indian butler? Mahatma Coat"

"My attempt at a terrible Christmas joke. What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas? Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*"

"What's worse than paper tits? Cardboard box."

"Why would a dead girl lie? Because she can't stand up."

"I took my new dog to a Veterinarian. He went in Samoyed but came out Husky."

"What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !"

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"