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Joke of the Day

"Considering ""natural"" childbirth? You wouldn't have a tooth pulled without painkillers, right? This is an 8lb tooth. From your crotch."

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad"

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were both drowning and you could only save one, would you grab a bite to eat or finish mowing the lawn?"

"I got rear-ended in traffic the other day Thank God i wasn't in my car."

"*seductively moistens your lips with the meatloaf"

"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."

"Hey people who design vacuums- Why the headlight? Are people vacuuming in the dark? or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen?"

"He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you."

"So there are some salads in jail... So one of them says, ""Lettuce go!"""

"Q: What kind of guitar did the pool player own? A: A-cue-stick."