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Joke of the Day
"I like when I wear my glasses because then I have four-eyes I can roll at your ridiculousness!"
Next Joke
"Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping."
"What did Trump get for Christmas? Stage IV rectal carcinoma with a recto-vesicular fistula so he farts out his penis...hopefully."
"What kind of baseball do burgers play? Ketchup baseball!"
"With Twitter, who needs imaginary friends?"
"today my internet went out for About 3 minutes...... Met my family downstairs. They seem like nice people."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""
"Surprise parties for Lindsey Lohan probably have that ""Intervention-y"" feeling at first."
"One time I knocked my hot curling iron off the sink & caught it in my open palm because I have the catlike reflexes of a dim-witted ninja."