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Joke of the Day

"Fondly remembering a time when I could wear an over-sized guy's cardigan and still look pretty sexy, now I just look like a crazy bag lady."

"Had scab soup today made it from scratch."

"Persuading girl into having sex with you is like spreading the butter on a toast. It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife."

"I'm a grammar nazi. I'm also a regular nazi, but that's a different story."

"When is a tree it's loudest? When it begins to bark."

"I spent the night on a 4th dimensional alien ship. Surprisingly the surroundings were very familiar. Except in the bathroom they had a glory cube."

"How do I know you're not John Cena? I can see you"

"""It's terminal-"" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? ""Departure time is in three hours."" THREE? WHAT DO I DO? ""This is an airport."" SO WHAT? I'M DYING!"

"Where can you find the speed of light? At C level"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buddy ! Buddy who ? Buddyfingers !"