196761

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo"

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless"

"I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so i'll know it's a match"

"Best Joke I know Reddit on April fools' day."

"what do you call a jamaican proctologist? POKE-MON!"

"How was copper wire invented? A Dutchman and a Scotsman fighting over a penny."

"If my 3YO's fortune was ""you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs,"" this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate"

"*Attempts to give a Homeless guy change* Him: Thanks. You never know, one day my situation might be you. Me: Really? *holds on to change*"

"Some might say I peed my pants. I like to say I voided my bladder into my trousers like the classy refined gentleman that I am. #bt140"