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Joke of the Day

"What was eating away at the computer's RAM storage? I don't know, but it was going at it one byte at a time."

"Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown? Because he had no depth perception."

"What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common? Angry heifers."

"I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*"

"What do you call an affectionate island? Isle of view"

"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."

"Is it necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down? Not all of us are surgeons."

"I was going to be a politician for Halloween Then I realized I couldn't fit my head up my ass"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dead baby in your apple."

"*walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS"