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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me what my favorite calculator was... My friend asked me what my favorite calculator was. I told him they all had their plusses and minuses."

"A wino wanted to join the Black lives matter movement He ended up sobbing ""Can't we all just get along?"" at a Dark matter symposium."

"What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny"

"(NSFW) All the little children were virgins... .. Except for Kate, her daddy couldn't wait"

"When I was a kid, I use to think a ""sexual predator"" was a horny alien from the movie ""predator"" Turns out my uncle just liked to collect movie costumes."

"If an Astronaut Vomits in L.E.O. If an Astronaut vomits in L.E.O., what do you call the portion of the vomit closest to the Earth? The Ralph Nadir"

"You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive."

"My Wife Saw Me Licking A Yogurt Lid And Said ""Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?"" ""Because Yogurt Tastes Better"" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday"

"You're having a big wedding? Cool. I'm having a Big Mac"

"costumed new york mayor Rumor has it that for Halloween New York Mayor DeBlasio will be walking around on his knees and going as Mayor Bloomberg"