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Joke of the Day

"Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No we just let them go barefoot."

"If I ever say, ""Do you want me to be honest?"" Say no."

"According to my mom, Michael Jackson died again. #RIPPrince"

"Why did the hippie drown? He was too *far out*!"

"Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off."

"Urban Outfitters is just Spencer Gifts in a fedora."

"How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face."

"""there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars"" Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too."

"My mother always told me never to listen to Rumours. Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely worn out."

"Who's Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy."