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Joke of the Day

"My mother always told me never to listen to Rumours. Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely worn out."

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control. This protocol is bad. Why is it we are singing to each other? It's no wonder our funding has gone away."

"Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale? A whale-weigh station!"

"Did you hear about the magician who became a farmer? ...he was driving his tractor down the road, and suddenly, he turned into a field."

"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? ... Eats his first Brownie!"

"When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us."

"Why are do gays always get to the airport early. They get their shit packed the night before."

"I asked my dad the other day what he knew about anti-forensics He said he knew uncle forensics better"

"If Gillette made toilet paper, we'd be up to 4 or 5 plys by now."