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Joke of the Day

"A woman is looking in the mirror... She complains to her husband:""I'M OLD AND FAT!"" To which her husband replies: ""Your eyesight is still ok."""

"I just watched the uncut version of Scarface. It was just called ""Face."""

"Beethoven must've hated his music... Sure he spent a lifetime composing, but so far he's spent centuries decomposing."

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel? I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... and table, and a chair"

"When Scarlett Witch was at the Avengers HQ... you could say she needed...adult super Vision."

"Little Johnny Orders A Pizza ""I'll have an extra large pie, but hold the cheese, hold the sauce, and hold the crust on that pizza!"" Haha"

"Executioner: final words? Executionee:Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Er: you done? Ee: didn't buy me as much time as I thought actually."

"""How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months."

"You know how rich people prefer Bose, Bang & Olufsen and Marantz? That's just a stereotype."