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Joke of the Day

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"

"Did you hear about the goblin whose left arm and left leg cut off? Guess what he's alright now!"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she."

"I read an article saying that if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God, I only drink every night."

"Why wasn't the man considered attractive? The laws of gravity didn't apply to him."

"Is there a site I can go to where I can write down stuff that happens to me? Like an electronic diary (eDiary)?"

"Holmes: ""I say, old bean, is that mud on your boots?"" Watson: ""No, shit, Sherlock"""

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"*rubs lamp* Genie: ""you get three wishes"" Me: ""I wish I wasn't so alone"" Genie: ""k wow I'm like right here"""

"Why should I submit a joke today? Because today's April full!"