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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] Why was the snowman smiling? He could see the snowblower coming down the street."

"This forest scent air freshener is really working. Three elk have moved into my living room."

"I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder."

"I hope there comes a day when cancer is just a zodiac sign"

"[job interview] ""Have any questions?"" Think the 3 Little Pigs hired the Big Bad Wolf to blow their houses down to collect insurance money?"

"*dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*"

"Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? A: They use honeycombs."

"I like my slaves how I like my coffee. Free."

"Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon? That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees."

"Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough... But it's even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip."