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Joke of the Day

"Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon? That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees."

"A Roman walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""I'll have five beers"". (Not mine)"

"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."

"If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I'd be like you're cleaning this up I'm not cleaning this up"

"Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room."

"Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok. He woke up."

"I had a rib removed so I could cry further into my lap"

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot? One says ""hey, you, get off of my cloud"", and the other says ""hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe""."