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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get if you cross the atlantic with the titanic? A: About halfway."

"Step1) Buy 100 cans of tuna Step2) Drain the cans into a bucket Step3) Soak ur cloths in the tuna water Step4) Go outside & get all the cats"

"My daughter used to hate eating vegetables. Until she became a vegetarian."

"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"Say no to drugs. Say yes to the dress. Say anything to John Cusack. Say you say me to Lionel Richie. Say say say to Paul McCartney."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."

"My running tights are giving me a mean camel toe. I'm going to wear my ""Mind the Gap"" t-shirt to the gym"

"Did you know that Ireland is the richest country in the world? It's capital has been Dublin for a long time."

"No matter what meal it is, always say you had ""brunch"" so people know how much better than them you are."