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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes people ask me how I got so funny and I say ""It's easy. I'm just deeply, deeply sad and my life feels unnecessary and empty"""

"Try our curry, you'll never get better I don't get what's so funny about it, do you mind explaining it like I'm 5?"

"I think Helen Keller said it best when she said. ."

"Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait"

"I think I speak for Earth when I say that I'm ready for Justin Bieber to turn to hard drugs and squander his wealth, eventually losing fame."

"If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that's still a sports injury, right?"

"Keyboards should give an electric shock with each keystroke when caps lock is on."

"Two fish swim into a wall One looks at the other and says *""Dam!""* #oldbutgold"

"How do you know your wife's dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane? Clearly, I can see your nuts."