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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the spud lover do before it went to bed? A: It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock."

"If I ever opened up a nail salon, I would definitely name it ""Handjobs""."

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"I got good news and bad news The bad news is there's no good news. The good news is... well I just told you. OR The good news is there's no bad news. The bad news is... well I just told you."

"Trump is like Hurricane Matthew The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning."

"What did the police say to the hot dog? You are under arrest."

"Sad news. The end of a one-legged man I know is afoot."

"I used to work at a public swimming pool But I got fired because every time I saw an Islamic family I pointed to the no bombing sighn"

"Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public."

"That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view."