29503

Joke of the Day

"Once again I'm reminded that pressing harder on a remote control when I know the batteries are getting dead is not an effective strategy."

"The reason the earth's core is hot Is because my mixtape is so underground"

"The only downside to buying diamonds is that you could have bought thousands of tacos instead."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Josb"

"Some pigs are born with two vaginas. It's true, ask your mom."

"Tacky on you, that outfit is! Tacky on who? [Tachyon!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tachyon) Who's there? Knock, knock!"

"Who is ant man's worst enemy? Raid"

"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"

"How do you ask someone if they're Vegan? You don't need to, they'll tell you"

"When your wife says she needs a new broom it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing."