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Joke of the Day

"[Commercial for axes] [A lumberjack swinging a dead goat against a tree in the woods] *Turns to camera* ""There has to be a better way?"""

"""Yes, I remember you saying"" - Translation: Please stop saying that"

"You've taken 3 pregnancy tests this month. ""What's your point"" My point is that your shoplifting is odd and out of control Eric."

"Three Russians walk into a bar Just kidding. They never left."

"Doe A deer, a female deer. Ray A hunter, with a gun."

"A cicada crawled up my butt while I was sleeping last night. I'm not worried though. It'll come out in 13 years."

"What do you get when you cross a zebra with a flamingo? Some weeeeeeeird shit, man."

"I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot"

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."

"A man walks into a bar and notices two things: 1. there's a line. 2. The daily special is a Cranberry & Vodka. So he gets into the punch-line."