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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"A woman recently got breast implants made from oak wood. It would be funny if this joke had a punchline, Wooden tit?"

"What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland? Aurora boring Alice."

"An egg and a chicken are lying in bed, the egg's enjoying a nice, post-coital smoke... Chicken looks over and says ""Well, that answers that question. """

"A guy is having sex on a first date She's giving him a blow job. He tells her ""suck it harder"". So she does. Then, he yells, ""Blow, blow, the bed sheet is up my ass."""

"I introduced reddit to my girlfriend yesterday Me: So, do you like it? Her: yeah, it was entertaining. Just one question, though Me: Sure, go on Her: Yeah, who is OP. And why is his mom such a whore?!"

"What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine."

"What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! ""Oh no!"" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa"

"That moment where you playfully punch a kid in the grocery store, and only afterwards realize it wasn't yours."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face."