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Joke of the Day

"The moderators of this sub"

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"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Nein"
"What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own."
"My friend David's ID was stolen the other day Now we just call him Dav"
"2 first names I don't trust people with 2 first names: Paul Ryan, Larry David, Martin Lawrence, Saddam Hussein http://www.twitter.com/HireMeImFunny"
"We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately."
"What has nine arms and sucks? Your mom on Def Leppard's tour bus."
"Who's the first Jewish guy to get a Heisman Trophy? ""Fred Goldman, because he's got mine!"" - OJ Simpson"
"Two months ago my best friend took off with my wife. And god damnit, I miss him."
"What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands? Having half a screaming child on your hands."