2904
Joke of the Day
"What is Carroll Shelby's favorite food? A torque-y sandwich."
Next Joke
"3-year-old: I can't run as fast as everybody else. Me: Why not? 3-year-old: I don't have enough feet."
"What do you call a homosexual man on a wheel chair? A human being"
"[3 guys corner me in an alley] 3G: Bet you're scared Me: *shows them my wife's credit card bills* 3G: *hand over their wallets* holy shit"
"What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ? All sorts of antics !"
"Dozing off during Sportscenter and waking up an hour later in the same clip is every guy's version of Memento."
"A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually."
"Apparently, museums don't like it when you try to improve the paintings."
"What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex? Call her up and tell her where you are."
"Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, ""Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"""