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Joke of the Day

"Wanna see new features on your TV that you never knew existed? Let a baby play with the remote for about 12 seconds."

"Thinking about opening a restaurant for breast cancer survivors. It's called Hooter."

"What's the difference between a magician's wand and a nightstick? One is used for cunning stunts, the other is used for stunning cunts."

"Q: Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank? A: Because she had an interest in the principal."

"Found this great joke in the latest serious Askreddit thread, thought you guys might like it [removed]"

"What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer"

"[waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! ""What'll it be?"" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly who? Peanut butter jelly you!"

"I do it doggy style... as in I spin around three times before I sit on the toilet."

"I just got a new hearse Everyone is dying to take a ride in it"