28625

Joke of the Day

"10 years ago parents were like ""be careful what you put on the web"" and we were all ""lol. old people."" now none of us can ever be President."

"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"

"I hate people with erectile dysfunction no hard feelings"

"""What'd you do today"" ""Went on a treasure hunt"" ""I hope you mean job hunt"" ""Treasure hunt"" ""You need to find a job"" ""Not if I find treasure"""

"Thanks phone, for being strong every time I dropped you."

"A schmooze.... ...what Sean Connery calls an afternoon nap"

"How does one call a female COCK-roach? A henroach. No pussy joke here, you dirty pervert."

"Why do you never see any gay Egyptian Sailors? Because they're all in de Nile."

"Some Penguins Went to a Bar Waddle they do next?"

"What do you call an existential lycanthrope? A whywolf."