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Joke of the Day

"*looks up from phone* Great, I'm inside of a coffin again."

"[looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] ""Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."""

"Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ? The sound you make 10th floor "" AHHHHHHHHH *BOOM* "" 1st floor "" *BOOM* AHHHHHHHHHH """

"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"

"[NSFW] Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make?"

"What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common? If you break a leg, you get cast"

"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."

"Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!"

"If you love someone let them go down on you"

"""I thought I'd thaw a pussy cat."" -- dogs deciding what to take out of the freezer for dinner"