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Joke of the Day

"What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common? If you break a leg, you get cast"

"What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower? You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you."

"What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships? ""Have a good one, son."""

"You are from russia, right? I mean, someone said he is putin his dick in your mom tonight"

"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? We used to be really tight until you let that dick come between us."

"A tree fell on a family's house and killed everybody. It was rootless."

"What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal? A keeper"

"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch."

"""well well well, if it isn't the person who didn't like my Instagram photo"" is how i like to address pretty much everyone"

"Hey baby, Heaven must be missing an angle because you're kindacute."