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Joke of the Day

"Wanna get together and test the spring potential of my mattress?"

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!"

"A man takes his sick wife to a doctor.. The doctor after making initial observations, says - 'Sir, your wife doesn't look so good'. To which the man replies, 'Yea, but she gives great head'."

"If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights"

"What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes."

"What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies."

"Trump says he wants to move into the White House... ...why not? Wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family from their house Edit: Credit to Snoop Dogg"

"How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a Soviet Russian?"

"[aquaman origin story] *falls out of boat* help! im drowni- oh... no, im good, actually"

"What do you call a psychic, midget fugitive? A small medium at large."