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Joke of the Day

"Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive."

"His son asked him what gay meant. Son: Dad, what does gay mean? Dad: Happy son. It means happy. Son: Then are YOU gay DAD? Dad: No son...... i have a wife..."

"If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each."

"I've limited my friends to 3 people that know how to split a dinner bill w/o causing a fiasco and life has been awesome since."

"Last night while texting and driving i ran over a kid on his bike I know it's terrible but we all do stupid shit when we're drunk."

"What do you call a woman with no ass? A friend"

"A guy walks into a bar. .. He's in critical condition."

"When you take a Wiz.. do you get a sense of Khalifa?"

"He: How are you? Me: Thanks, but I'm too old for you He: I was going to ask about your wireless prov... Me: Just keep telling yourself that"

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator"