28229

Joke of the Day

"todd: *sobbing uncontrollably* me: relax it was just a little earthquake todd's wife: he's an etch-sketch artist. it was everything he had"

"I was going to join the debating team... ...but someone talked me out of it."

"When is a door not a door? When its ajar xD"

"Did you hear what NASA said about the asteroid? [OC] ""No comet."""

"Why does beer go faster through you than milk? Unlike milk it doesn't have to change color. Why does Budweiser go faster through you than beer? Unlike beer it doesn't have to change taste."

"At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house"

"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !"

"why cant Ray Charles see his friends?? Because he's married."

"[spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea"

"What kind of bikes do girls ride? Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)"