28170

Joke of the Day

"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."

"A Siri joke!: Two iPhones walk into a bar... ...Carrying a set of iPod shuffles. The bartender says: > Let those iPods sing, man! He was an iSurfer on iPad mini."

"I'm still I'm still Jenner from the block I really want a fanny but I have a cock."

"Overheard on the organ black market ""Got awful grammar? Buy this colon!"""

"A guy says to the other... ""Marriage has taken all the joy out of sex."" ""How so?"" ""You know, there is always the terrifying chance of my wife coming home."""

"I'll never be friends with the girl who brings a bottle of sparkling water to the gym."

"According to this white t-shirt, I'm the BP of red wine."

"What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!"

"I have mixed race parents, my dad prefers the 100m and my mom is Hispanic"

"""You have a date? With who?"" [Sees a fishing boat] ""Uh, her name is Net..."" [Sees someone with a booger] ""Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."""