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Joke of the Day

"I am one ""Mom!"" away from making the 6 o'clock news."

"What diapers should you put on a dead baby? Pamperspired."

"My oldest played with BPA free toys that I sterilized constantly. My youngest is playing with a metal coat hanger and a AA battery."

"What's the difference between a Piano and a Fish? You can tune a piano but you can't Tuna Fish!"

"Up to 300 serial killers are active every day but the good news is that some of us have been incapacitated by the internet."

"Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking."

"Since Ghandi walked barefoot, and ate a diet giving him bad breath, he was... A super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis!"

"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"

"Kim Jong-il became Kim jong-ded Now Kim Jong-Un with his wife who has vanished from public since 7 months, might be having a Kim Yung-Un"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"