27986

Joke of the Day

"Dammit Springsteen, I was born in the USA too but you don't see me making millions in monthly residuals from a 20 year old song about it."

"Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"

"I store drugs right under my nose Don't believe me? Check my stash"

"[Job interview] ""What are your strengths?"" Me: I fall in love easily. ""Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?"" Me: Those blue eyes of yours."

"I've always been the kind of person who likes to think outside of the box. Although it has harmed my career as a goalkeeper."

"Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror."

"last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas.... I woke up in a box."

"A woman enters a bar and orders a double entendre So the bartender gives it to her!"

"When I see stars I think of you Because you're only beautiful from a distance"

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."