27701

Joke of the Day

"I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense"

"I like my women like I like my coffee:... ...imported from Columbia in a bag."

"Spread me apart, lick, & enjoy my cream! ~Oreos, you pervs"

"Can you imagine how awesome sprinkles would be if they tasted like anything?!"

"Reporter 1: see Argentina needs to score here because if not they lose Reporter 2: so true jon. So true"

"When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle."

"So a duck walks into a bar... He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says ""Hey there, what can I get for you?"" And the duck says ""I... I don't know. I've never made it this far."""

"Just once, wouldn't it be good to hear an athlete thank Natural Selection for his team's victory?"

"My wife said I must think she's a whore... I told her a whore would be cheaper."

"Question about storytelling. If I stand on stage, with four spotlights behind me, no matter how I tell the story, is everything I do going to be four - shadowed?"